The Importance of Family Acceptance for an LGBTQIA+ Youth |

The Importance of family acceptance for an LGBTQA+ youth |
LGBTQIA+ is one of the biggest communities in the world represented by the six-band rainbow flag.
The abbreviation stands for ‘Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, and the affiliated communities.

We all know that this community has faced discriminations regarding their identity in the world for generations because of renunciation which ultimately led to many acts towards these community, shaming them for being themselves, chanting normality’s on their faces and what not yet they aren’t talked about and addressed enough which is totally absurd. They are fighting for ages for their validation, identity, and liberty when the world tried to take it away from them but they are still fighting and standing tough while embracing themselves strongly.

People do approach with various comforting words such as ‘it’s fine, you got us, it’s okay even if you don’t have your family’s support or family isn’t always about blood relations'. Well yes, it’s absolutely true and we can live with the fact that our family might not always support us, but a person can only go so far alone because the rooted family will always have a tiny power over us that nothing can overlap upon it utterly and I speak this from almost all of us in the community.

According to observations, it is seen that different families react in different ways when their child comes out with their status; some accept them right away or go through denial, some take time and accept it gradually while some go as far as cutting off ties with their child.

It is still considered a taboo in many societies to talk about this community, avoiding to address the issues related to it, and that is exactly where the downhills start, the beginning of all the negativities because lack of acceptance or ignorance has the power to push a person towards a deeper darker alley single-handedly, which many times led to suicides for a large number of youths’ in the world.

However, there are so many youths out in the world who are struggling to make it past each day, fighting and facing the demons as strongly as ever for their happiness and still standing strong with a smile on their faces because no matter what the world says, self-love always come first and we shouldn’t ever feel guilty for that.

Because “it’s okay to choose your fate, it doesn’t make you selfish”- Jaimie Wilson.

The Importance of family acceptance for an LGBTQA+ youth |

Given below are some of our fellow transgender men who have shared their "coming-out stories" with us regarding this perception -

1. Ankit Dass 

Ankit is a 20-year-old transgender from Guwahati, Assam. He is currently an undergraduate student and is yet to start his HRT (Hormonal Replacement Therapy), but he has been to many psychological sessions on the account of his GID (General Identity Disorder) Certificate. He tells us about how he is planning on starting his hormonal therapy soon after his Post Graduation. He came out as a trans man to his family in the year 2017, and as far as it is concerned his family is now supportive of his choices.

HRT for transgender and transsexual people replaces the hormones naturally occurring in their bodies with those of the other sex.

“My childhood times were easier to go through but things started going downhill once I hit my puberty and my body started undergoing changes, then I came out to my parents in 2017 but their initial reaction wasn’t good, they shouted at me calling it a habit of mine with the statements like I can’t change the nature. It took them a year and a half to come into terms with everything and eventually they resorted in supporting me”, he says, recalling his first coming out days.

How that year and a half was a definite dark time for me to go through which was starting to dim my self-esteem, gradually making me fragile but the acceptance from my family and learning more about myself has helped me a lot today.

2. Divik

Assam’s Divik, is a 26-year-old Pre-T Trans man who is currently working in an electrical manufacturing company in Pune. He first came out to his mother in the year 2019 but things weren’t in his favor during that time, and more like "wrong time, wrong place" kind of situation.

The next day after I came out I went for a movie but I kept getting their [home] calls and upon calling back I was immediately called back home with no farther questions answered, then I found out that all of the rush was to take me to an astrologer/priest. They straight up went to them and asked if I was really a boy or a girl, alas we got an answer of ‘it’s a phase’ and also they denied accompanying me to the psychologist’s to get my GID certificate”, he says recalling those times.

GID is a condition where a person experiences problems due to a mismatch between their sex and gender.

He tells us about the times when his mother would prevent him from going out of home and hang out with his friends because they thought that his status is because of influences from his friends, which we know is absolutely wrong. At one point the situations took such a turn that he even started getting suicidal, but he is up and about today because of the acceptance and support from his friends who have pulled him out of those vicious places. He is looking forward to starting his HRT soon and hopes to one day sit and talk through things properly with his family.

We wish all the best days to Divik in achieving his happiness. “Peace out!” - as he says always.

3. Purab Brahma

Purab is a Pre-T Trans man belonging from Kokrajhar, Assam. He hasn’t come out to his family officially yet but he has all the support from friends to whom he eventually came out during his college days.

“The warden of my hostel wanted me to get kicked out of hostel just before my final semester, calling me to the principal's office and making me call my parents, which I didn't obey as it wasn’t that big of a deal. But it added up to my anxiety and insecurities”, says Purab, about the time when the girl’s from the hostel assumed of him taking hormones. He tells us about how his friends have always got his back but also regrets the times he was insecure and lost connections with some of them.

Educate yourself and be the change in the world that is always talked about.

Purab concludes with a beautiful message for everyone:

As I have grown older I just want people to understand that in today’s time where we all have phones and unlimited data’s, along with all the fun and games you also need to learn more about things around you, educate yourself and be the change in the world that is always talked about. During this lockdown make yourself a little better version of you, it has already given you 16 weeks and more to grow, maybe gradually you can contribute in making the world a better place to live for people who are as ordinary as every other person. Anybody is just like everybody and is as same as you and me with all the needy human functioning organs to live and love.”

Kudos to Purab and we wish him the best with all the support, for when he decides to come out to his family as he is one strong soul who has kept going through all the high’s and low’s thrown by the world.

4. Jaimie Wilson

Jaimie, a 24-year-old American Trans man is a musician and an influencer. He came out to his family at the age of 19 and it’s been 5 years since then that he is taking his HRT. Things didn’t exactly take a good turn on Jaimie’s journey to his happiness, while he gained one thing he lost another but that just proved what and who mattered more. At one point in time he even had to go homeless, but that couldn’t falter his spirits in chasing his happiness.

“I grew up in a very conservative and religious household. February 14th in the year 2015 was the day that I came out to them [family], it was supposed to be the best day of my life where I finally started being myself but it turned into my mum’s tears and dad’s screams, flooded by words that even if I tried and believe me I tried but you can’t forget when your own parents tell you that to them you’re dead”, Jaimie shares, when he received an award in the Spirit of Matthew award at the Matthew Shepard Foundation (an LGBT nonprofit organization).

The Matthew Shepard Foundation is an LGBT nonprofit organization, headquartered in Casper, Wyoming.

He says, "everything that once belonged to me was taken away by my parents and I was left homeless because they gave me a condition to stay as a girl or leave if I chose my way." And he did choose his fate and have come a long way since then, healthier and for sure happier.

Jaimie has represented the LGBTQ community in many fields and has been using his voice as an activist fighting for the rights of the LGBTQ+ community, he has given out a strong message which has made him an inspiration, a relatable voice and someone to look up to for hundreds of youths all over the world.

He concludes with a heartfelt message that has become a strength for many of us today, he says:

“They took everything from me but in a way, they took nothing from me, for they couldn’t touch my soul or reach till that depth to take away my true self, my identity, my desires because you can’t take me away from me and no one can take you away from you.”

5. Nate Roberts

Nate, a 29-year-old English trans man from Bristol who is a tattoo artist and is currently in his HRT for nearly 3 years now. Nate is one of the most carefree and strong soul, an inspiration for many of the LGBTQIA+ youths’ to look up to. He shares his experience of his coming out and the acceptances that had followed throughout then.

Nate tells us how when he first came out to his family, things weren’t exactly welcoming and he had to face their hurtful remarks frequently which then led to distancing himself from them in order for everything to settle in into everyone because they weren’t willing to understand or listen to his perspective and feelings at first.

“My Nan is 83 but she has been amazing throughout this whole time, she accepted me with no questions."

“A couple of years after I came out, I went to my parents for Christmas and that was when I managed to have a very open conversation with my mum about how I felt and made it clear for her that she couldn’t be in my life if she did not accept me as I am", Nate says, that their relationship has gotten a lot better since then, gradually making peace with everything and while some of his family members have been great and accepting of him, others still referred to him by his old name which then made him pull away for good because we know referring someone with their dead name purposely is more than a slip-up or an excuse for being ignorant.

“My Nan is 83 but she has been amazing throughout this whole time, she accepted me with no questions, she is wonderful”, he says talking about his grandma’s acceptance and support towards him. And as everybody has their own ways to deal with things differently, for Nate it is to give a peaceful space to gain clarity. Well, that’s some amazing peace out’s from the amazing man himself.

Awareness & Acceptance

Over time since the passing of generations, where along with technology diversity is seen to be widening, in the world where everything is constant and nothing is permanent you should keep your eyes and mind open, allow yourself to grow because there’s many more to learn out there in the open. LGBTQIA+ youths’ are no different and no, being a part of this community isn’t because of any psychological disorder. We are who we are and we won’t be erased.

Share with us your story and how you dealt with a similar situation in the comments below.


#lgbtqia+ #lgbt #lgbtq #transgender #familyacceptance #lgbtqawareness #importanceoffamilyacceptance #comingoutstory #comingout #ayeyouth

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